tell me why ;

man i'm really lazy & tired.
tired of almost everything,lazy is one of the resultant force.
sometimes,sometimes,i really hate myself.
i hate myself for not doing the best out of myself.
i hate myself cos of what i did wrongly.
i hate myself for being so .... useless?
i used to be so strong in front of almost everyone.
till one day,i knew i couldn't take all this anymore.
not alone anymore.it feels so ... indescribable.
why couldn't things be like past old times?
why couldn't happy times stay?
why couldn't , why couldn't i feel happy anymore?
everything,everyone seems so far away from my reach.
i couldn't feel what i wanted no more.
why couldn't i get what i want?
i'm just like a empty shell,not knowing what to do next.
i'm just so fake outside.
tell me,tell me what did i ever did wrongly to get into this position.
tell me,tell me how to be happy once more.
tell me,tell me where should i go.
tell me,tell me what to do and what to say.
i don't wanna be in this place any longer.
maybe i'm just being foolish,thinking that as long as i'm good to others.
i will be treated equally good by them.
tell me to wake up from this idea please.
it just ... hurts so much.

告诉我 悲伤的时候会想起我
告诉我 你也捨得让我独自漂泊
有些话说不出口 害怕又犯下了错
分手还没有说 泪就想流